Structure & O.D.D.

One of the most important parts of our plan to battle this Oppositional Defiance Disorder was giving Knight some much needed structure without smothering him.

In week 8 & 9 Knight was showing significant improvements. His outbursts, physical altercations, lying, theft, annoying behaviors, & and destructive inclinations were becoming less with more time between them. I was proud of his progress & reminded him daily that he was doing so much better!

Knight was growing closer to his brothers. Fights & arguments between them were less frequent & all the boys were much more tolerable of each other.

The structure we’d initiated in our home was helping. Before Knight moved in, I thought we had structure, but hadn’t really given it much thought. Turns out, we weren’t as structured as I thought we were. These are the things we changed:

1. We established regular meal times. (I thought we had regular meal times before, but really we were independently eating whenever each of us were hungry.) Dinner time/Supper was the most recognised meal time. We were all going in different directions during the day & had separate interests/hobbies/jobs. So, for supper, we all slowed down, came together and ate together. I credit Knight’s father for this suggestion. It wasn’t difficult at first, but a after about a week into it, some of us had a hard time stopping what we were doing & coming to the table. Within 3 weeks, it was an expectation for most of us & if one of us couldn’t make it home, several of us would be bummed out. Now, a year later, everyone coming together for supper is still part of our daily routine and is a therapeutic part of our combined successful family unit.

2. We invited Knight to help develop a smoother morning routine. I’ve always had a hard time waking the boys up in the mornings. Knight was a huge help to the family with that! He woke up relatively easy & we put his “annoying” to good use. I told him I needed his help waking his new brothers up & that he was welcome to annoy them to wake them up & help me get them moving. He seemed happy & welcomed helping me. It worked!! He was & is the best alarm clock ever At first, his brothers complained, but I explained that the annoying would stop once they complied, got up, & started moving.

3. A regular summer chore schedule was established. They already had chore expectations, but it worked better this way. Each of the boys jade specific chores on designated days.

4. Rewards and treats we regular as clockwork. Privileges such as mall trips, going to the movies, and other favorite things became rewards.

5. A decent bedtime was established.

6. Shower/bath rules were established so everyone wasn’t trying to jump in there all at once & arguing.

These things should have been in place already, right? The truth is they were, but we just needed to start all over again, ensure we had communicated them clearly, and place emphasis on this restructuring. Let’s face it, ever family has rules, but after a few years, rules must be re-established as a reminder. Especially during the teenage years when not all of a family may be going in the same direction, with each other, or have separated interests.

By the end of week 9, we had all seen a significant change in Knight’s behavior & reactions to others. We were still working on every key step we had enlisted in previous weeks. I was proud of Knight & still am

Theft & Drugs (O.D.D.)

When O.D.D. strikes a child it appears as though their entire lives are going down the drain. Outsiders nonchalantly look on the child & their family as they whisper how pitiful it is that such a seemingly wonderful or normal child has gone so wrong.  Some will make open comments in public places, some will talk behind the child and family’s backs and smile to their faces.

The truth is simply that people on the outside looking in don’t have any idea what life is really like living with a child or teen affected by Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Whether people intend to or not, they judge the parents and certainly the children for the behavior. If you are a parent, you can’t let this get you down. If you want to change the oppositional behavior, you can’t give up, give in or let go. I know the tears you’ve shed. I know the impending doom you think you see & the failure you feel hover over you. There is hope & it’s layered in Love

When we left off in the last article, I was sharing with you our progress up to week 5.  Let’s move ahead into weeks 6 & 7 after Knight moved in with us.

Theft
Near the end of week 5, leading into week 6, odd items began to disappear. My pocket knife I kept on my hip always was suddenly missing. It was a treasured memory item for me & I had worn for many years when I first started hiking. I asked everyone to help me find it. Supposedly no one had seen it. Everyone searched for it. It wasn’t until I broke down in tears that it reappeared – in plain site on the coffee table everyone had walked by for days. Coincidence?

I smoke cigarettes. I know it’s bad for my health & one day I’ll stop. Anyway, my lighter disappeared the same day the pocket knife reappeared. I asked everyone to look for it & no one could find it. Things had never disappeared before Knight came to live with us. It was an odd coincidence…

By week 7 my oldest son complained about his batteries disappearing from his gaming wireless controller. My youngest son was missing some clothes. My husband’s lighter was missing. Everyone was missing socks. $20 disappeared from the change compartment in my car. The steak knives started disappearing from the kitchen! Finally, I confronted Knight about all these random item disappearances. He denied having anything to do with them.
One day we were inside a local service station getting drinks & snacks. Knight asked me to buy an energy drink for him. I said, “no”. Not happy with my answer, he decided he’d just help himself to what he wanted. He looked around & slid the small product into his pocket. I walked over to him & asked him if he’d had the pleasure of meeting any local law enforcement officers. “No”, he huffed. “Well dear, I love you enough to let you meet those 4 fine officers right over there.” I said pointing to a group of local & state officers. Knight’s face turned red, “You wouldn’t!” I smiled as big as I could & told him I was serious as a heart attack. Plus, they’d already seen him do it & were just waiting for me to walk away so they could arrest him. “This is a point in your life where you make a decision Knight. Go to jail over something as stupid & petty as theft or come home with me. If you choose jail or juvenile, I will NOT come get you out. Choice is yours. When I step away, your decision should already be made.” Knight quickly took the item from his pocket & placed it back on the shelf. On the way back home we talked about that ever-so important respect he wanted from others & the fact that theft was the lowest form of deceit. I emphasized that I have nor ever will have respect for a thief. A few weeks later all the missing items began to slowly resurface. The odd disappearances weren’t discussed any further. Things also stopped disappearing…

Drugs
Knight spoke often about drugs. Sometimes he said he missed them and sometimes he spoke regretfully about them. We had no available “drugs” in our home and no one around him that he could easily bum weed off of. He’d told me stories of living around them, doing them, & selling them. There is no future in drugs. He is with me to build a future, therefore drugs are counter-productive. I told him where I stood on the issue of drugs – NO.  No drug talk. No Drug t-shirts. No weed jokes. No drug innuendos. No drugs period. I told that anything that can alter your mind causes you to be out of control and more than anything, he wanted to be in control.

By the end of week 7, our focuses were the same.

Maintaining open dialog

Pointing out annoying behaviors

Bringing lies to Knight’s attention (Taking Ownership of his Words & Actions)

Structure in his daily life

Consistency in discipline

Knight was almost ready to start working on his next step: Relearning how to communicate with people to earn respect.

Yep, I’m addicted yoga!!

Yep, I’m addicted yoga!!.  My sister’s fitness blog is such an inspiration for me. Check her out sometime and let her encourage you too

Setting Boundaries & Establishing Consistency

Welcome to this Journey through O.D.D. (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). This article is part 4 of a series. If you have not read part 1, part2, part 3 – I urge you to do so if you are searching for help on this subject. If you’ve read along with me already, I want to welcome you into the fourth and fifth weeks of our journey and Knight’s recovery.

In our fourth week together, we were continuing to work on our previous plan of action: maintaining open dialog, pointing out annoying behaviors, bringing lies to Knight’s attention and being open to accepting responsibility for his actions and words. Knight was giving us signs that he was feeling overwhelmed with just these three items, so during week 4 we gave him a rest from adding more to the plan. We continued to focus on just the first three maintaining consistency.

More Open Dialog

Week 5 rolled around and our open dialog was giving me more insight into Knight’s personality & reasoning behind some of his actions (defiance). He spoke to me about his previous school experiences & earlier life living in a large city. When he moved in with us, his environment changed significantly. We lived in a mid-sized city rental home & would be moving soon back to the home we owned in the country – within the year. He spoke of the differences in people here & how people reacted to him there. He seemed to like it here. This led to him reviewing his previous school experiences with me.

I had a good understanding already from his transcripts, but his opinions were valuable to help me help him. He said everyone at his old school disliked him (especially the teachers). He failed many of his subjects through the years & was involved in many physical fights. He proudly explained to me that his mother had always “taken care of that for him”. He said she would go to the school and have a fit with the teachers & principle so he would be moved to the next grade. He was proud of his mother for “taking up for him”. He said she always “got him out of trouble” and once even had his juvenile record cleared so that no one could hold it against him. He felt as though she had “connections” and he could do anything he wanted to really.

I did not rebuttal anything he said or offer any comments. I just let him talk. In my mind however, I wondered why she would do that for him in a public setting when I was told by her that his physical altercations at home resulted in declaring that she “couldn’t handle him any longer”.  I am not judging her by no means. I was simply left wondering.  Knight had very bad school transcripts, a history of failing classes, provoking others to fights, threatening the safety of others while in school, in school and out of school suspensions, and many school initiated psychological reviews. His previous 2 schools had him on an IEP (Independent Education Program) and had marked him as *special needs* because of his behavior. I, however, did not see him as *special. I felt like that was a cop-out instead of addressing his real issue of O.D.D. They had him in classes for developmentally delayed children and he was/is by no means delayed! I set a boundary.

Getting Ready for a New School

I explained to Knight that I did not see him as *special needs. I told him I loved him & would do everything I could to help him, but I would not take up for him to get him out of trouble if he in fact, was guilty. I explained to him the new school I would be enrolling him in was a public school that has a zero tolerance policy for his previous types of behaviors. He said, “whatever”.  I accepted his whatever as a sign of understanding. I knew he heard and  understood what I told him. I also told him that the new school would probably not place him on an easy IEP. His father had said he was going to go to school and request that one be created, but I knew from experience that the new school treated all children equally. They would test him and decide he was not truly *special. I was grateful I had an entire summer to work with him before he entered into the new school.

Altercations, Defiance & Random Outburst

By week five, I witnessed several physical altercation attempts between he and his father & a few between he and my boys. None of which were provoked by any reason of means – they just occurred as randomly as part of his need to annoy others.  Here, in random order, is an account of a few:

• Knight’s father returns home from work. Knight is sitting on the couch playing his Xbox. His father says, “Hey Knight. How was your day?” Knight doesn’t answer. He is ignoring his father. Walking closer to his son, his father asks again. Knight angrily puts down game controller down huffing a loud sigh of disgust. “FINE”, he yells. “It was FINE, OKAY? OH MY GOD!” Not once did he look at his father. He returned to playing his game.  Knight’s father begins to yell back at him about respect, working all day and being happy to come home to him and receiving that reaction from him. (I’ll add that to the list of what didn’t work later.) Knight gets up from the couch. (1)Throws his controller down and wants to escape his father. Knight likes being oppositional and defiant, but detest anyone treating him that way. Knight goes into his bedroom and (2)slams the door. His father follows him. More yelling on both parts.      After all yelling has ceased, both of them are separated. Knight begins (3)kicking and punching the closet door. The door comes out of its track. Falling, it slams into the back wall of the closet.

After about an hour, Knight came to me and asked me to help him.

 He was full of anger and resentment toward his father.

I told him I loved him but that I couldn’t and wouldn’t live in a home with violence. Violence is not love and will never resolve anything. He explained to me that a therapist his mother took him to advised him to destroy things instead of  people when he was mad. He could not see why slamming doors, punching walls, and throwing things was not acceptable. I explained to him that the therapist that told him that was probably correct when Knight was a younger child, but because he is a teenager now (almost a man), he needed to express himself verbally and not with his hands. We had a lengthy conversation about how physical altercations instill fear in people. He said that he felt it was a way of gaining respect. (He was consumed by “respect” yet showed no respect to anyone or anything.) I told him he was gaining my respect until he used his hands to physically display his anger or frustration. I also told him that if he crossed the line at any point with his aggression – he was out. HE asked me what is punishment was going to be. I answered, “I am taking the power cord to your Xbox for 3 days. You can sit on the couch and stare at it, but you can’t make it function for you. I am also taking your phone. I love you and you know I do, but I can’t help you if you don’t try”. He cried. He agreed to keep trying . He apologized to his father, his new brothers, and I. He began working on (and still is working toward) keeping his new promise of limiting or eliminating his physical aggression.

• On another day, Knight and his new brother’s were hanging out in their room. As mentioned before the place we were living in was a mid-sized city home at the time. They all 3 teenage boys shared a bedroom. I am in my bedroom and it is late. Our rooms share a dividing wall and I hear cussing and foul language through the wall. I don’t know what or who started it.  I also hear, “Dude if you ever ___ I will stab you!” and “You wanna be shanked, dude?”

Threats are not tolerable. When picking battles, this is a one I chose. I quickly removed all knives and sharp objects from the house and locked them up, as though I was child-proofing for a toddler. I called Knight out on the threats. He denied them over and over. We spoke about accepting responsibility for actions and words we speak as I reminded him I heard them with my own ears. He continued to deny his threats. I told him I was disappointed in him. He had just gained his Xbox back and had played it earlier in the day. I took the power cord again. I took his phone and Wi-Fi from him. (He was very upset about that.) He lost these things for 3 days. To get them back he would need to demonstrate good behaviors for 3 days consistently.  His father spoke to him (actually more like lectured him) and in the end he promised to stop the threats…or at least try to. My boys came to me and told me they were worried for their safety. I expressed this to Knight’s father and he spoke yet again with Knight. He re-enforced that threats would not be tolerated. Knight was afraid of being shipped off to a disciplinary school and told me he liked living with us. He promised repetitively to end all threats and he made it almost 4 months before another threat slipped off his tongue. This has and still was a work in progress.

• We were all sitting around the dinner table having supper. During conversation the subject of my boys’ deceased father was brought up. When the boys felt secure in the company they kept, they would mention him and want to talk about memories. They were becoming more comfortable with Knight. They mentioned how they missed their father and loved him. Knight (who was in a particularly defiant mood that day) began to laugh loudly. He said “HA!  Death is funny!” I stopped eating and said, “Death is not funny Knight. Haven’t you ever lost someone who you loved before?” He replied, “Yeah, so!?! I don’t care. Death is Funny. Who Cares anyway? It’s stupid.” Knight’s comments were angering my boys who were recovering from PTSD caused by watching their father die – literally. They loved their father and grieved deeply for a long time during their recovery.   I glanced at my boys to reassure them that this was just one of Knight’s attempt to annoy, defy them, and cause dramatic confusion. My reassuring look was not working. Both boys were filled with anger. My oldest stood up and told Knight “he’d better watch what he said or he wouldn’t be responsible for what could happen if he was enraged”.  Knight had fear in his eyes and I could tell he regretted what he had said, but through defiance – couldn’t bring himself to take it back or apologize. I stood up and announced dinner was over. I sent my oldest son to his room to cool down. I told him I’d be in to talk to him soon. My youngest who was giving Knight a look of total disdain was sent to the bedroom also. Knight jumped up from the table and yelled, “Do it man! Come on. Hit me. I dare you.” He knocked over the chair he was sitting in and said, “I don’t need this. I don’t need you. I’m running away!” He did. He ran out the front door. I went to the boys in their bedroom who were crying. I hugged them, reassured them they are entitled to miss their father and reminded them that Knight is still testing his limits with us. I asked them to bear with me because I was not giving Knight what he wanted. He would not provoke a response from me. I was not giving in or giving up. They told me they loved me. Then, I went out to search for Knight. I didn’t see him in the neighborhood. I drove to the ball field. I didn’t see him. It was getting dark. I called Knight’s mother. She said she would speak with Knight. I called Knight’s father. He said he would speak to Knight and not to worry about it, advising me Knight would be back very soon – he wouldn’t go far. 

Knight’s father was correct. He came back within the hour. He knocked on my bedroom door and apologized for his outburst. He said he didn’t know what made him do it or why he had said what he did. I told me he was jealous of my boys’ love for one another and their relationship. He told me he was jealous of how everyone loved each other in our family and that he wanted that. I reminded him that I loved him and that I had already welcomed him into our family. The invitation had been given and he had a choice to take it or not. He said he felt as though he was being treated differently. I promised him that he would be treated equal and reminded him that included following the same rules and requests that the other boys followed daily. Knight’s father lectured him for his actions. Knight’s mother lectured him for his actions. I continued to love him in spite of his actions, so I punished him…again.

Consistency: 3 days of No Phone, No Wi-Fi, No computer, his Xbox was available (all cords this time) – but with No controller, No more outings with me (which he enjoyed), & he had to spend 2 days with his father. He assumed these things were all punishments, but really it was a re-connection time for he and his father.

There is Hope

Of course there have been many other outburst and acts of aggression than these alone. There is no need to write about all of them. The point of this article is to give hope to those parents out there who may be dealing with a child or teen who exhibits O.D.D symptoms and behaviors. We have lived through them all. Encountered them all. Survived them all. Hope comes from knowing that these types of actions and behaviors only very rarely occur now (a year later).

The key for us during this stage (only 5 weeks into Oppositional Defiance Disorder) had been:

1. Maintaining open dialog
2. Pointing out annoying behaviors
3. Bringing lies to Knight’s attention (Taking Ownership of his Words & Actions)
4. Structure in his daily life
5. Consistency in discipline

Please stay tuned for Part 5 to come soon.

Oppositional Defiance Disorder – It’s Someone Else’s Fault

Part 3 (If you need to catch up,  you can read part 2 and part 1 in this series.)

Let’s Build Something

Please keep in mind that working with a child that has ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) is like building a pyramid. While you are laying a foundation, you must keep working on the original cornerstone pieces as you continue to move forward – continuing to work on the next piece. If you neglect one of the cornerstones you’ve laid out before, your entire structure will tumble-down.  So remember as you read through these articles that each week we added 1 new item to work on as we continued to work on the previous things.

Three weeks into this new ODD journey, We had addressed open dialog and bringing annoying behaviors to Knight’s attention in a constructive way so we didn’t sound like we were all against him. On our third week we encountered an old friend, “Someone Else”.

Someone Else Did It!

No one in our house likes “Someone Else”. “Someone Else” was the most annoying member of the entire family unit. “Someone Else” kept adjusting the thermostat on the heating/air unit. He was always causing drama, defying the rules, and challenging authority. “Someone Else” was a huge nuisance! He was always making messes that everyone else was blamed for.

Taking ownership of our actions and telling the truth are basic fundamentals that we teach our children soon after they begin toddling around and speaking. As parents we emphasis this more so once our children begin to intermingle with other children (Daycare, Pre-School or Kindergarten). It’s a continual thing that we all work on and hope we succeed at once our children have become adults.  I would be a hypocrite if I claimed that my boys were perfect at this when Knight came to live with us. They have and always will be (like everyone else’s children) a work in progress.

Children/teenagers with ODD have an exceptional case of  “Someone Else” though. They deny ownership of issues and actions so much that their reality becomes their lies and denial. After a time, they don’t realize their own lies. It becomes second nature and they incorporate it into who they are (their identity).

I spoke to Knight about the lies I noticed him telling. He denied them. He denied everything he did, everything he said, and everything he was caught in the act of doing. His responses were, “I didn’t do it. Someone else did.”   He lied because he said he thought it was funny. He said he lied to be cool, to be accepted, to make himself feel better, and to annoy people. He said he lied so much even he was unsure how to stop. I offered to bring his lies to his attention as he was in the act of doing so, if it would help. He agreed. Once again, I found myself in a position where I was going to have to call out a negative trait to bring his denial into reality for Knight.

I wanted positivity to focus on though, so I had to search pretty hard. I prayed about it and the Lord planted the answer in my heart. I knew I had to pick my battles and not overwhelm him, but I had forgotten how awesome celebrating small feats with verbal rewards could be! Picking my battles meant that I could not expect him to follow the house rules just yet and I had to look the other way in many situations. My only exception to this was in the event of harmful or abusive threats or behaviors. Those I had to stop immediately. As for the putting the lid back on the toothpaste – that would wait. We celebrated an avoided argument, a door being shut instead of slammed, laughter & smiles, admitting faults, or owning up to truths, talking to his mother on the phone without yelling, speaking to his father without running away or raising his hands to hit. (I’m not saying these things didn’t happen. I am just saying that when a day went by without them happening – we celebrated )

Make Every Day a Good Day

Every day we had, no matter how bad it began or ended was “A Good Day”. A good day for a child/teen with ODD may look like the worst possible day for any other child, but if you don’t celebrate even the smallest accomplishments, progress could begin to slide backwards. At the end of the day, I would congratulate Knight on a job well done and tell him it was a good day. At first, he looked at me puzzled (because he was becoming more aware of his behavior and lies). I would tell him that everyday is a good day because I won’t give up on you and you are trying The first few days he heard this, he blew me off and went to bed thinking I was crazy. After the first week of hearing this, he began to believe it with me. He also began to look forward to hearing it before bedtime.

On the third week, I purposefully neglected to tell him it was a good day. He came to me and asked me if it was a good day. I answered: Yes honey, everyday is a good day… and he finished my sentence “as long as I try?” 

Believe it or not he was getting better – still very very very difficult to live with and be around, but he was healing!

So at this point, I had three major things I was focusing on:

• Maintaining open dialog
• Pointing out annoying behaviors
• Bringing lies to Knight’s attention

To maintain fairness, I shared my plans with my other two boys so they would not feel as though they were being treated unfairly. They know me and their limits and I wanted them to be involved in Knight’s progress plan also. I never shared explicit details, just the basics and kept the conversations Knight and I had only between him, his father and I. My boys were happy to be included because they were feeling they were being treated unfairly.

If you have other children in the home, I would suggest sharing your progress plans with them also (if you feel it appropriate) so your family can grow stronger during this process and not drift apart.

O.D.D. at First Glance

Part 2

O.D.D. at First Glance

For the sake of this subject, I will name the child in question “Knight” for no other reason than I am not using his real name and I am terrible at making up random names.

History

When Knight came to live with us he was already a teenager exhibiting ODD behaviors for a lengthy time (period of years) and was 14 years old. We were told many horror stories from parents, others who knew him, school records, psychological reviews, and from Knight himself. He was being medicated for ADHD although this medication was not seemingly working its magic. His past included theft, habitual lying or truth stretching and was out of touch with reality. He had been to juvenile, participated in many fights at school and in public. He showed complete and total defiance to all authority figures, had trouble making friends and  trouble maintaining established friendships. He had a history of  school suspensions, random outburst, purposely annoying others, threats and acts of violence against others and to himself, hitting or hurting his siblings and parents, failing grades, drug usage, and he was a gang member wannabe.

People he had lived with had made statements like, “I just can’t handle him any more!”.

Open Dialog

Knight moved in with us and we began to merge him into our family. I spent many hours with him one-on-one talking to him about his life and what he wanted for his future during the first two weeks. He was very open and verbal. *In fact, he seemed to enjoy being heard and voicing his own personal concerns, opinions, and thoughts. I emphasized to him that his opinions matter and count toward decision-making, but that my decisions would ultimately trump his if I felt something was not in his best interest. 

When we began to have our conversations, he lied to me about some parts of his past and present. After several more talks though, he began to open up, confess and share with me the real him. Once our open dialog protocol was established (over a 2 week period), we agreed that he should not hide anything from me or else I could not help him. He agreed and has kept this agreement to date (a year later).

Loud Outburst and Annoying Others

We stopped Knight’s ADHD medication. He was not taking it regularly anyway and it was causing his heart to flutter and increased his natural anxiety. Teachers typically recommend against this because they assume that the medication “helps” (and in some children it does). But Knight’s condition was not so much ADHD – this child could, did, and does pay attention. He was/is hyper to the extreme though and enjoyed using his energy to annoy people. He openly admitted that he enjoyed annoying people.

Knight’s first few weeks with us were trying on our nerves as we all needed to adjust to his hyper tendencies. Once he picked on the fact that his hyper actions drove some in the house batty, he played on this weakness. I had talks with my other children about how to react to Knight’s behaviors and expressed that we were to all focus on giving Knight positive attention instead.  I ask them to follow my lead in ignoring the outburst, going on about their business, or changing their location if possible (leaving the room). This provided to be difficult because their ages were so close and my boys were feeling as though I would allow Knight to get away with things they were not allowed to do – ever. After a bit of practice on the boys parts, they were able to follow my instructions with Knight’s negative behavior. They simply had to change their mindset.

Example: Knight is on the couch playing Xbox with one of his new brothers and randomly starts pausing the game at important parts when his new brother is about to achieve success on a mission. Knight’s new brother waits until the game is resumed and then begins to play again. This pause/resume of the game continues throughout a 5 minute time frame about 20 times. Knight’s new brother is frustrated. He sets his controller down and walks away. Knight screams COME BACK and play with me NOW.  His new brother says, “You’re annoying me. There’s something else I’d rather do. You can play alone.” Knight is now upset and confused. He comes to talk to me about it. I explain to him I understand how he and his new brother both feel. I also told him that bringing annoying behavior to his attention should help understand why people were wanting to avoid him. Last I explained that if he wants to make lasting friendships, he will need to figure out a way to channel his hyper energy in ways that do not annoy people.

Example: Knight would walk through the house at different times of the day randomly yelling as loud and shrill as he could.  I spoke with Knight about these random outburst and explained that he was giving everyone a headache. This went on for a couple of months. Outburst changed from a shrill screeching to random words.  We all ignored this behavior and made a huge deal/celebration daily about Knight being able to share his Xbox and game play with his new brothers.

So, in just 3 short weeks we had made progress. We celebrated the accomplishments daily (and we still do) to re-enforce Knight’s awesome traits and the great person he has and is becoming!

I will write more soon about our next steps we took on this ODD journey and what worked – and what backfired!

Living with O.D.D

Part 1

The definition of  ODD:

[Oppositional Defiance Disorder]: a child or teenager exhibiting a persistent, regular (occurring multiple times a day over a period lasting more than 6 months) pattern of  random outburst tantrums, argumentative with everyone over anything and everything in a raised voice, angry, hostile, and aggressive behavior toward all authoritative figures, spewing negativity in all forms, completely defiant, disobedient, refusing to comply with requests, purposely annoying others, provoking others, blames everyone for his/her mistakes or misbehavior, acts touchy and is annoyed easily by others, feels much anger and resentment, is spiteful & vindictive, has difficulty maintaining friendships, feels socially unaccepted, acts aggressively toward peers, has academic problems, and most importantly – has a serious lack of self-esteem. A child/teenager with ODD is deliberately destructive to other people’s property, lies often about big and little things, has tendencies and desires to steal from people they know and do not know often – shoplifting, feel entitled to the objects they steal and will justify their actions when confronted about the theft, will often break curfew, skip school, has run away from home (or attempted to or talks about it), may experiment with drugs and sex at a young age, and engages in physical fights often in public – school – home (attacking parents), threatens or attempts suicide.

Diagnosis:

What leads a professional to diagnosis this disorder is the severity and length of time the child has demonstrated these signs. Let’s face it, what child hasn’t shown some or all of these traits during their childhood? Many people see a child in this description as a troubled teen.  Most people will say all children have and they would be justified in saying so. These behaviors are normal for all children at different stages in their youth. But what makes ODD significant is the length of time and the severity of these behaviors.

The significant difference in this disorder and normal youth disobedience is that the child/teenager’s behaviors affect not just themselves and their parents, but also their peers, teachers, friends, grand parents, church members, and everyone that comes in contact with them in public – everyday over an extended period of 6 months to several years. Many people interviewed have stated that they can not stand to be around a child with ODD even though they love them and want to see them recover. Some people have even gone so far as to have said that they hate their child with this disorder. They feel as though they have failed miserably as a parent and some parents, sadly… simply give up   A child with this behavior disorder is not uneducated or of low intelligence. Actually the opposite is true. I have discovered that this disorder is driven through high intelligence in a child with a serious lack of self-esteem.

What causes ODD?

Oppositional Defiance Disorder affects only a very small number of children/teenagers and often times it exists in a co-morbid state with another physiological disorder such as ADD/ADHD, Bipolar disorder, sleep disorders, and depression/ anxiety.

Professionals have also linked the onset of ODD to a lack of supervision, lax – inconsistent,  or  harsh parenting (harsh discipline), abuse, neglect, an imbalance of serotonin in the brain, a strained family environment (a lot of arguing, yelling, and marital separations/divorce), and developmental delays in brain development. ODD is considered more of a “personality disorder” really and if addressed early enough can be corrected before a child reaches the teenager years. If treatment for ODD has not begun until the teenage years, there is still hope, but the treatment period may be a more lengthy and need much more time and effort.

I understand how you feel!

It’s very common for a parent with an ODD child to feel like a failure. They feel as though they are at the end of their rope, can’t take it anymore, and often feel like giving up.  And the saddest part is…some parents do give up. Some parents say they hate their children and they hear other people tell them they hate to be around the child also. Many of these children will end up out of the home on their own at an early age, in juvenile, or being packed off to live with someone else.  As a parent you will hear debasing comments from the child with ODD often. Please don’t allow the harsh things you hear from your child “stick” in your mind. Many times, these children don’t mean what they blurt out in an episode anyway.

It’s a challenge. You’ll cry because they have insulted you, loose your temper also from time to time, and want to react to the child in the same manner they are acting toward you. You are not a failure though. Youth with Oppositional Defiance Disorder will use anything they can think of to hurt you and enjoy causing a rift in your marriage or home between all family members. If they know you have a weakness, they will exploit it. I promise you though, your child is not the spawn of evil and there is hope!  We must maintain our composure and when you implement a behavior  modification plan, you’ll be the one in control of this seemingly unrespected and destructive child.

What do I do?

If you think that you have a child that fits this description, behavior modification is the best and most effective approach. Therapy is helpful also (according to articles on-line.) Some professionals recommend a cocktail of medications, but there are many resources available to help parents that feel as though they have reached the end of their rope that will not have any medical side effects as such medications can/may/do have.

In the next few articles, I will share with you our journey through raising a teenager with Oppositional Defiance Disorder and the things that have worked for us and the things that have failed miserably. We are 1 year into this journey and have made huge massive amazing large life changing significant progress that I hope will bring hope to other parents or authority figures out there that are dealing with this commonly undiagnosed disorder.

Here are some on-line resources for further reading:

• http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/oppositional-defiant-disorder/DS00630

• pamphlet
• http://www.schoolmentalhealth.org/Resources/Fam/ParentsOppositional%20and%20Defiant%20Children%207.28.08.pdf
• http://aacap.org/page.ww?name=Children+with+Oppositional+Defiant+Disorder&section=Facts+for+Families
• http://www.aacap.org/cs/ODD.ResourceCenter

Mother’s Day list Success 2013

I was so bummed out yesterday thinking about how much I love my kids & husband, how special they are, & how they weren’t even thinking about Mother’s Day coming up. I knew I’d made my list & posted it everywhere I thought they may see it, but I just didn’t see that it was doing any good This bag of trash sat in a very obvious place for 16 1/2 hours as I counted 37 trips they made back & forth past it

I woke up this morning and discovered I was alone. Odd. I filled up a cup of coffee & came back to the bedroom. Shortly afterwards my husband came through the door with breakfast & a large hazelnut latte!

Soon after I ate a few bites my husband comes in & says, “Chrissy come with me. I’m fed up with these boys. Please, just…come to the kitchen.” Sadly I followed him thinking there would be a new sticky mess somewhere.
This is what I saw

All 3 boys were standing there I got a hug from each one!
I came back to eat my breakfast. After a few more bites Nick said to come outside…

*Gasp* The car was clean!!!

**Oh!!!** I wish these were scratch-N-sniff pictures because it smells sooooo good. You’d never know I taxi sweaty teenagers around 6 days a week!!!

I’m in heaven!! It took him over 2 hours to clean out the car, vacuum it, & organize the trunk! He said the boys helped get their things out, but he couldn’t believe how much crap was tucked in & under places in the car. (Sounds about right!) He lectured the kids for me and definitely feels my pain.

Next, was the new flower garden Everyone participated. They dug holes for me, helped me weed & even decorate. I’m now the proud owner of a sea shell garden only 200-250 miles away from the beach

I’m one happy Momma!
Happy Mother’s Day everyone!!!

What Are You Looking At?

Yesterday, after school, we attended a football parent meeting. It was a mandatory meeting for all players in all grades of the High School and was very informative. Since we have 3 boys attending (1 played last year & 2 will play in the Fall) we never thought a thing about attending.

It was a good meeting – very informative. I’m new to this whole kid playing sports thing because X & Z never played any sports in the past, but Y who came to live with us a year ago has played sports his whole life. All I knew of sports from last season was the the endless shuttling of kids from one location to the next, sitting in the stands and washing uniforms. Y moved in with us in the spring and just joined right in with the existing football team, so we missed any and all parental information meetings last season. Shoot, we never received any communications from the coaches or anyone else except Y. This year is different.

Anyway, after the meeting was a “cook out” which consisted of hot dogs wrapped in aluminum foil, tiny bags of chips, water, and cookies. There was no seating, so we all just stood around and snacked off paper plates and looked around at the other people, kids, coaches, etc. interacting or just standing around like we were.

I noticed several “clicks” or grouping of people that must have known each other from the previous years. My husband hasn’t lived here long, so knew no one really, but I have lived here my whole life. I went to this school. I saw a few people that I knew. And surprisingly something happened.

Memories!

Since hitting my head a while back and losing a ton of memories, I get super happy when some return! They were pretty happy memories too. I remembered the wings/halls of the school (which classes were where) and began to remember some happy, funny, or eventful events that occurred

I guess I was kind of zoning out after a few minutes because I suddenly realized my husband was talking to me. Listening intently, I tried to catch up on his conversation when I noticed over his shoulder that a group of women standing behind him were staring at us. There were 4 women in this group. The one in the front was covering her mouth and she spoke to the other ladies as she cut her eyes toward us. At several times our eyes met and locked on each other as she continued to talk to the other ladies. She would slant her eyes our way, nod in our direction and point with her elbow. Basically, she did everything except point a finger at us.

I looked back at my husband who thought I was upset about something and was refusing to look at him as he spoke to me. He walked away from me for a minute. I looked him over to see if he had toilet paper stuck to the bottom of his shoe or his fly was open. Nope. Nothing there to see. I found no reason they’d be staring at him, so I examined myself. I’m always dressed modestly, so I had no body parts playing peek-a-boo, no spilled ketchup running down my shirt, nothing on my face, and my hair wasn’t sticking up in an odd Something About Mary way.

My husband came back to where I stood and we spoke for a little longer. I glanced over his should a few more times and then it hit me! Bad memories…Not my memories though. I thought about the horrible stories about kids making fun of other kids, bullying and such I’ll admit that when I was in school I had my fair share of insecurities, but I was never bullied at this school over them. In fact, at this school, every kid is just…a kid. There were a few small “clicks”, but not very many and even the people in those groups were nice to the other kids. It really is a great school as far as that goes. Everyone is accepted.

I tried to tell myself that I was inventing something that wasn’t there. But…I just couldn’t shake the feeling that there truly was

It was at that time that I lost my temper and knew that I needed to exit the facility in order not to embarrass my children. Afterall, X is going into his senior year and I don’t want to ruin that for him. You see, when I lose my temper (which is an extremely very rare occasion), people part from me like the parting of the Red Sea. I am not very pretty when I blow up which is why I have managed my anger very well through behavior modification. I pray and leave the situation quickly.

After much prayer last night, I found peace. I’ve decided that I will be seeing these women on a regular basis now and that I need to at least find out there names. As the school year goes along, I will also find out why they were staring at us also. I’m just blunt like that

Mother’s Day Gift Ideas

Mother’s day is just around the corner and I would like to do something different this year than last. Cruising around several blogs today I read several articles about gift ideas for Mother’s Day.  I really agreed somewhat with these authors, yet I wanted somethings a tad different from my family.

I hope to spread inspiration in the form of inexpensive gift giving ideas that I promise will hit a home run (well…with me anyway)! Last year for mother’s day I wrote an ode to my mom. (If you missed it, you can catch up here .)

I always feel guilty around Mother’s Day for several reasons. One – I don’t think I’ve been a good daughter for my still living mother. Two – my birthday was less than a month ago. Having a late April birthday never bothered me until 17 years ago when I became a mother.  I feel like there is too much cost involved in me existing during the Spring months.

Anyway, because I am frugal minded and have a conscience, I would like to offer up some inexpensive and easy gift ideas for all the kiddos and hubbys out there (mainly mine)!

Here are a few things I certainly would love (hint hint):

• Tell your Mom you love her – in person!  Never send a Happy Mother’s day message to her through email, text, phone call, or voice mail. A good ole fashioned hug around her tired and worn neck, plus a whispered I love you Mom goes a loooong way.
• Take out the trash – without asking for a trophy for doing so. Mom sees everything you do. There is no need to point out what you have done for her
• Mop the floor for her
  - Hasn’t she spent enough time on her hands and knees scrubbing your muddy shoe prints, spilled drinks, food crumbs, and other unmentionable sticky residue?
• Clean out her car!! Kids, you know every piece of paper, empty water bottle, broken object, and chewed on plastic “hidden” in the car. You also know how long you’ve been watching that one lonely french fry you threw slowly harden in the back window. Make your mother the happiest woman in the world and clean up after yourself! (Without being reminded or asked.) Clean your finger prints off her windows so she can safely drive at night and sneakily vacuum her carpets.
• Buy Mom some air fresheners for the car. Hubby and children, when mom shuttles you to and from sports, workouts, and competitions – where do you think your sweat goes as your back and butt magically dry on the way home?  In the car seats….**shudder…Ew! If you are the sweaty culprit, perhaps it would be a nice gesture to clean mom’s upholstery for her or simply buy her an air freshener for her car.
• For one day, offer in a home made card to refrain from asking for anything from your mother. Don’t ask her to locate anyone or thing for you, what time your next game is, if anyone can spend the night, where any objects are located, the next designated time for the refrigerator to regenerate missing food, to cook you anything, which shirt looks better, to feed your dog, to discuss the unfair issues around current school discipline, or when the magic body wash fairy will return because you are out.  …Just for one day, please?
• Make her brownies and keep your hands out of them
• Tell her she is beautiful. Every mother is beautiful and probably doesn’t hear it enough.

Bonus: For 1 day, avoid drinking milk straight from the container & don’t lick the syrup

• Let her drink coffee all day! Don’t judge her. After all, she’s raising you or yours, right?
• Mow the yard for her without a congressional meeting to convince you to do so.
  
• Offer to help her pick weeds out of her flower garden
• Offer to dig a hole for her to plant more flowers. This one is so easy guys.- Is it going to take much time or effort to dig a hole?
• Ask her to take a walk with you. Sometimes mom’s are so busy doing all the little things that she forgets to take a relaxing walk. If your mom is young, hip, or into exercise – run with her!

Whatever you do, don’t buy her chocolate. You know she can’t resist that stuff and there’s a beach vacation coming up soon.

Please enjoy some of these other great articles about Mother’s Day gift giving as well that I’ve found:  WriterMom’s Blog, Oulaw Mama,

And these are just plain inspirational

***(My apologies to everyone about the odd font that appears here. Some of your blogs names are totally copy/paste-able…others, well not so much. So, I have a funky font thing going on)

jokondotnet

Maia Madden

Eccentric Chai

Kirsten Joy Awake

Beyond the Bounds of Bipolar

Finder of Lost Things

Especially Made

Imperfectly Balanced

The Farmer’s Wife

Delana’s World

A Modern Day Anna

Generation W

Was that supposed to Crunch?!

Surprisemama

One in 36 Million

Having Kids Ruined My Life

Story & History

Mother’s Day Prayer for Moms in Every Season of Motherhood

More Arrowhead Finds

These were all found in East Tennessee, Western North Carolina, or Indiana. (Indiana finds are all Nick’s.)

I love this new hobby I have tried other forms of “getaways” and stress relievers over the years like Hiking (which I still love), DIY projects, reading, girls’ night out, etc. But, for a mom that is always in demand, this has been one of the most relaxing hobbies I’ve ever tried my hand at. The best part? Most of these fields are so remote, I have no cell phone reception   It’s like a magical gift from the daily grind of a never ending string of phone calls, messages, and social media bleeps going off.

This will be my last post about arrow head hunting until late fall this year. Sadly, farmers are planting their crops now or will be very very soon. Arrowhead field hunting is coming to a close for the season

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I will stop with the pictures for now

Our pets?

Many people enjoy the company of their loving & loyal pets. The term pet is also loosely used to describe just about any type of life form we hold captive. Ex: cat, dog, fish, turtle, lizard, bird, & many other lifeforms.

In our home, we have a community loyal, not owner loyal dog who loves our neighbors the same as she loves us. She requires no feeding because she will not eat dog food under any circumstance. She is a hunter and feeds herself off the land. She requires very little maintenance because she merely wants to be recognized about once a day by someone calling to her. She’ll wag her tail and then off she goes…into the neighborhood to scavenge.

We have a loyal (as long as he gets his way) cat that requires a great deal more than just once a day maintenance. He requires his litter box to be cleaned more than once a day or he will attack your legs, multiple treat snacks in a day, and recognition by anyone entering a room he is in.

There are also several dozen territorial loyal crawdads that live in our back yard. I’ve decided to claim these crawdads as pets because they have lived here longer than I have & no matter what we do to them, they won’t leave our back yard. I’ve read a few articles online describing people keeping them as pets. The way I see it, we’ll call them pets, but they’ll require no upkeep or cost (like the dog). They don’t want to be petted, only come out at night & require no maintenance. Oh what perfect pets they seem to be

So here’s our pet collection:

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Do’s & Don’ts of Cooking

Anyone that knows me knows that I am not a fabulous cook. I have never claimed to be. I try though and somehow the boys all seem to be very healthy. Once upon a blue moon, my favorite hang out place was the kitchen. I stayed in there practically all day. If I wasn’t cooking, I was cleaning, or sitting at the table reading or paying bills.

Over the years, I have had some serious fiascoes in the kitchen.  In the past, I would deny my bloopers, but the more I think about them – I think hey why not share? After all, I may not be the only under-achieving cook out there.

Do: Make sure you have all the ingredients before you begin cooking.

Don’t: neglect this small yet very important 1st step, you may be running out to a close by local small store to buy important items like (cheese, milk, bread, the main ingredient)

Do: Announce to everyone in the house that you need the kitchen all to yourself if you have a small space.

Don’t: Attempt to do the tango with a blazing hot cast iron skillet, a cat underfoot, and kids ducking & weaving in and out of the kitchen. Someone, probably you, will get burnt.

Do: Mix all dry ingredients first

Don’t: Throw all ingredients into a bowl and mix on high-speed. (Egg is difficult to remove from the ceiling and dries quickly.)

Do: Clean as you go. Wash your cookware and utensils as you dirty them up.

Don’t: Hope the kids will appreciate the meal so much that they will help with the dishes afterwards. Instead they will have a cut on their hand and therefore be disabled for the evening, have a belly too full to help, start their nap early at the kitchen table, have a game that has been on “pause” too long and just have to go, need an hour-long shower, or some other random excuse.

Do: Only make portions small enough to fit into your left-over storage containers.

Don’t: Cook a 25lb turkey or ham without enough storage space for left overs!! You’ll end up with the left over meat in every type of container in the refrigerator – Ex: Tupperware, Ziploc bags, Rubbermaid containers, left over butter bowls, Jelly containers, cheese cellophane, Drinking cups with lids, plastic shoe boxes (cleaned of course), sour cream containers, and anything else that has a lid!!  The day after said feast will result in frustration as you cannot find the REAL butter, jelly, sour cream, cottage cheese, etc.

Do: Wear an apron or keep a hand towel handy.

Don’t: Forget you are cooking and wipe your hands on your pants.  If you do, you may stick to your chair when you attempt to stand at the end of the meal.

Do: Ensure that any frozen ingredient is not freezer burnt before using.

Don’t: Attempt to convince the kids that it’s suppose to taste that way!

Do: Check all dates on canned or dry goods that you bought on sale and found in the very back of  your cabinet before using.

Don’t: Try to convince the kids it’s suppose to taste that way.  (If they’ve fallen for this once, they will be wise to you the 2nd time around!)

Do: Dispose of food packaging in a safe way.

Don’t: Leave a can lid standing erect on a can after opening. Gently push the lid down inside the can. Those things will cut you as you take out the trash.

Do: Remove all decorative stove burner (eye) covers before turning the stove on.

Don’t: Turn on the wrong stove burner element before you remove decorative covers. Those things are totally flammable!

Do: Keep tongs in the kitchen at all times. They prove to be most handy to remove burning element (eye) covers if you should forget to remove them.

Don’t: Make microwavable macaroni and cheese without adding water. It is flammable without water.

Do: Watch boiling noodles on stove top and stir regularly.

Don’t: Walk away from boiling noodles on stove top. Again, those noodles are totally flammable!

Do:  Stay in the kitchen when you cook.

Don’t:  Lay on the couch to take a nap when cooking.

These are just a few helpful do’s and don’ts that may help someone new to cooking. You’d think all these things are common sense, but they aren’t. Some of these were my mistakes when I was very young and others have been made by my kids.

We have a great deal more of these I could share. Let me know if you want to read more

A Potentially Boring Post

There are many things to write about on  my mind and we have had adventures that still have not made their way onto this blog yet. There is one thing that’s just weighing heavy on my mind right now though – Friends & their Mothers.

The boys (all 3 of them) go to friend’s homes and their friends  come here to ours to spend the night or hang out. I love to meet new people and I have a strict policy about meeting people first before my children go off to someone’s house. Maybe it’s how I was raised that has rubbed off on me, but I like to ensure that no one is making meth in their bathtub before I send the kids off packing to stay an evening with them.

I don’t judge, condemn or compare myself to the other parents I meet, but I have met some parents over the past school year that do. Everyone is different. Some of these meetings leave me scratching my head as I left totally speechless.

If you have any children maybe you can relate. If your children are very young, just wait…you’re in for it too.  (No child or parent’s names will be listed and these are in no certain order.) All conversations begin the same way: “Can X spend the night mom?” I reply, “yes, but I need to speak with their mom or dad or whoever they live with first”. Then I usually hear, “Okay, I’ll send you their #. ” I usually start off, “Hi, I’m X’s Mom. He asked me if your son could spend the night and I said that was fine, but wanted to speak with you to make sure you knew and it’s alright.”

Random Kid #1 Experience:  “Uhm, okay. Yeah, thank you for calling. I already told him he could. The boys have already decided everything and made plans between themselves”, is the answer I received.

“So, you’re fine with it?” I ask.

“Yeah”, she replies.

“Do you want to know where we live?” I ask.

As the phone clicks to signify the hang-up, I hear, “No, the boys will work it out.”

**End result: The child was relatively well behaved. I had to make several phone calls to locate the mom in order to take him back home.

Random Kid #2 Experience: “I am so glad you called. I wanted to meet you before sending X over to your house and make plans to pick him up tomorrow.I feel more comfortable talking to you first, seeing if we know any mutual people and such.” (This parent spoke to me for over an hour.)

This child was a handful, but is welcome any time to come back!

So, sometimes the roles are reversed and I am the one calling because my son is asking me to be able to spend the night at another kid’s house. These conversations always start off with, “Hi, my name is Chrissy. I am X’s mom. He has asked me if he could spend the night with your son and I wanted to speak to you, make sure you are aware and okay with it, and will be home with the boys.”

Random Kid #3 Experience:  “Oh yeah, X asked me and I said it was okay.”  Long pause…”Do you know where we live?”

I get the address and then ask what time she would like for me to pick up my son the next day.

“Just …whenever…is …fine …I …guess”,  she answers. “They’ll be shooting each other in the yard most of the day, so just any time should be fine.”

“What!? Did you say they’ll be shooting each other?” I clarify.

“Oh yeah”, she says as she huffs into the phone. “X’s big brother will be there with them overseeing everything to make sure no one gets hurt. They do it all the time. We have extra guns if your son needs to borrow one. Do you need my son’s phone number so you can text him and get all the details?”

“What?! I think I must be hearing you wrong. Did you say they are going to be shooting each other?” I ask again.

“Yes,” she said through a giggle. “They do it all the time. We live on a farm and have several acres. The boys make obstacle courses, wear extra clothing and shoot each other.”

Geez…she wasn’t kidding either!!

Random Kid #4 Experience: “Oh hi! It’s fine for X to come over! I’ve met him and love him! He can stay as long as he likes and I’ll be here with the kids the whole time. They may shoot some basketball, play video games, and watch movies. Does that sound good?”

I reply, “Yes!!!  That sounds great!! I can pick him up any time you’d like tomorrow. I can’t wait to meet you when I drop him off!”

So come on moms, chime in! Am I alone in this crazy world we live in? Would you let your child go to some of these homes? Some were great, some where not.  Do you call and speak to the parents of the children before your kids go to another’s house? Would you allow your teenager to go to another kid’s house to be shot with or without supervision? Am I paranoid?

Color

In the haste of your daily life, what are you not seeing?

It’s spring in Tennessee!

Spring has Sprung

Blessings

A Sad Day for Runners

My thoughts and prayers are with the people at the Boston Marathon today! My 14 year old son came home from school and told me what he had heard on the bus from the radio about the bombing. He was sad. I’m sad.

It’s hard to see your children’s reactions to events like this, but it is far more sad for the sorry excuse for a person that did it!  There were children there!!!

But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him.  1John 2:5

Only a Mother Could Handle This

******Warning******This post may induce vomiting

Some people are born with an iron stomach. They can eat anything, smell anything, touch anything and seemingly nothing grosses them out. Others have a very touchy queasy tummy and just can’t handle disgusting smells, tastes, or consistencies. These people have what we call a weak stomach. Around here, we have a combination of both kinds

A few nights ago, my husband and I were watching television in the bedroom. The kids were off doing their own things (playing video games, doing homework, and watching television in the living room).  In the bedroom we were watching Click. It’s such a touching comedic movie about how much family and time with loved ones means more than time spent at work making a living.  Here’s how the last 2 minutes played out…

Just as Adam Sandler falls to the ground outside the hospital trying to get his son’s attention we hear a tiny knock on the door. We ignored it, both thinking once the kids don’t hear us answer, they’ll wait till the movie has finished. Afterall, this is the touching part. I’m crying and my husband is tearing up too.

Adam Sandler’s son runs to him and the rest of the family is surrounding him on the pavement, covering him with umbrellas to keep the rain off him. We hear another tiny knock on the door. ” Surely, they can wait till the movie ends”, we both think. Several more tiny timid knocks on the door in a row…My husband jumps up, cracks the door and says very quickly, “we’re watching a movie. It’s almost finished. We’ll be out in a minute, Okay?” He shuts the door and sits back down. We finish the movie and Nick says, “Well, let’s go see what the boys wanted. XXX had a sad bewildered look on his face.”

My husband beats me to it. He’s standing in the hallway talking to XXX (my oldest son). “What’s going on?”  My oldest answers, “I got sick.” My husband cautiously walks to the other end of the hallway as if he’s scouting out new territory and peeps around the corner. “C H R I S S Y!!!” He calls to me. About this time I’m in the Hallway on the other end. There’s about 15ft between he and I and I hesitate…”What?”

“OH my GOSH, It’s horrible. Come here. Oh my…what happened again?” he replies.

“Great, I guess I’d better go”, I think to myself. I made my way to the end of the hallway and I see XXX standing there with the most pitiful look on his face. He’s pale, sad, and dismayed. I also see a mop bucket and smell the problem. It’s nasty…it’s vomit…with nasty chunks in it and it’s EVERYWHERE. I could tell he attempted to make it to the restroom, but only made it to the door about 7ft shy of his target (the toilet). It dawned on me that we put off answering the door to finish that awesome movie about how important family is and in the process neglected some family right here. How ironic!

“Why are you using a mop to clean up chunks son?” I ask.  Suddenly I hear the other two boys as they peeked out the door of their bedrooms. From the distance I hear, “Hey, yeah…we tried to help him. We gave him the mop and the bucket.”

“What?”, I exclaim, “you gave him the bucket and mop, then abandoned him? This has been here for at least 10 minutes. This is not fresh. You can’t mop up something chunky!!”

“Yeah, well, we don’t want to get sick,” another son replies as he speaks through his hand covering his mouth. The bedroom door shuts and they disappear. I hear gagging from their room.

My husband just stands there, mesmerized by the puke. Mouth gaping open, trying to figure out how one person could vomit so much in only one event. He even begins to scratch his head and mumble out loud about it. “It looks like there’s a dead chopped up body in the floor. What did you eat XXX? How can one person do this much? Oh yuck, it’s on the walls all the way in here too. It stinks. Gross. What did you say you ate?” He went on and on…

Rubbing XXX’s shoulder, I say “XXX, if you feel better now, please go to your room and lay down. I’ll finish cleaning this up.” XXX goes to his room saying, “I’m sorry” over and over again. “Don’t be sorry honey”, I answered his mumbles.

I began gathering the supplies I would need to clean up the nasty mess and my husband is still mumbling trying to figure out what XXX ate. At this point I wanted to burst into laughter, but I was still upset with the other 2 boys that knew very well the mop and bucket would just make a bigger mess. Just as I had almost gathered everything I would need and had removed the bucket and mop, I hear my husband begin to gag.

In my head I’m thinking, “Who wants Chowder?”

He ran to the kitchen sink. He gagged over and over again, but didn’t vomit (Thank God! If he had, I would be cleaning the kitchen sink too.) I began to remove the chunks and dispose of them.

About 1/2 way through the chunk removal, my husband says, “Oh yuck, it’s in the cat’s bowls. Just throw them away.” I just kept on cleaning. “It’s on the walls Chrissy!” he says. I kept on cleaning. “Honey, LOOK! It’s all the way over here too! Just throw that rug away.”  I kept cleaning.

In my head, I’m thinking “Who cares what he ate? Thanks for showing me it’s in other rooms though. Why are you freaking out?” He gagged a few more times, but I must give him props, he stayed right with me until I was completely finished cleaning the hard wood, the tiles, the base boards, the walls, the toilet, the sink, the hallway, and parts of the living room. He gagged, all three of the boys gagged, but we all survived and no one else got sick!

All this I found comedic because of the irony of the movie vs what my son was trying to tell us, the younger boys hiding in their rooms and abandoning their older brother, XXX gagging as he was trying to clean up his own mess, my husband’s odd chatter and wanting to throw everything away, and the cat’s reaction was funny too. He paced the floor for over an hour meowing loudly because his precious food bowl and water dish were contaminated!  Between these boy, my husband, and this event – it’s a real wonder that I didn’t go ape crazy!  I guess God gives mother’s an iron stomach to deal with their families daily. I just never appreciated before how iron my stomach is.

Watch out: Student Driver on Board

Over the last few weeks, two of our boys had been studying the state driving manual so they could take the driving knowledge test and get their driver’s learning permit. Early last week, they succeeded! Nicky passed his test on the first try I was proud of him.  Josh was successful too!  The youngest, Cole, will take his knowledge test in about 3 months too.

So, these boys say, “Take me driving.” “Let me drive.” “Is it my turn?” on a daily basis now.  I, of course, am the chosen teacher After all, I have taught many other teenagers to drive, why not our boys? Nick’s time is consumed with work and much travel. If the boys waited on him, they’d be 19 years old before they are ready to drive.

First off, let me tell ya, there is a HUGE difference between boy and girl new drivers!  In the past, I had only taught girls. There were a great many of them, but still – they were all girls.  Now, I’m faced with boys. Girls tend to be more nervous and think everything you are saying to them is being critical of their personal skills and emotions.  Boys, on the other hand, laugh and say, “yeah, I meant to do that.”

If I survive this endeavor, it’ll go down in the adventure book as HUGE! Seriously, I just bought 2 car magnets (image above) to put on the car on these trips from now on. If you want one, they aren’t very costly. Click here

Here is a small commentary as we are having our first lesson in a large parking lot with no other cars present:

“Okay XXX, switch sides with me so  you’re ready to drive,” I said as I get out of the car and get into the passenger side. “But…Mom?  How do I get in?,” I hear coming from the driver’s side.

“Honey, you have to move the seat as far back as it will go, then down. Last you’ll want to shift the steering wheel up so you’ll fit in,” I answer.  “Oh”, he replies. I remind him, “you are much much taller than I am so you’ll probably always have to move the seat.”

We practiced driving in a straight line, accelerating, braking, turning the wheel, and attempted to park. The wheel turning was scary! Then I remembered that everyone has to learn how to let the car correct itself. So, I tried to have more patience with that.  But, when the combination of wheel turning, heavy foot on accelerator and dizzying circles turned into dizzying parking lot doughnut laying rubber I exclaimed, “Brake. BRAKE. BRAKE! You’re turn is over. Good job today though.”

Nerves frazzled, the next child got behind the wheel. This one has a bit of practice under his belt already so we worked on reverse driving (backing up). Somehow, we managed after a bit, to be going backwards in circles, doing parking lot doughnuts laying rubber! I exclaimed, “Brake. BRAKE. BRAKE! You’re turn is over. Good job today though.”

Combined, they only curbed the car 6 times and I resisted the urge to medicate myself pretty well! At the end of the day my husband asks, “how was driving with the boys today?” I tell him his turn is coming!

Commentary on the next day, second lesson in a large parking lot with no cars present:

We are in position. I’m in the front passenger seat and child XXX is behind the wheel. The engine racing, screams for me to end the lesson before it has begun! “Uhm…dear…You’re in Park. Perhaps the car will respond better in Drive?”, I offer advice. He answers, “No worries Mom, I got this.”  We zoom through the parking lot and come to an abrupt stop about 3 inches shy of a curb. Through hard laughter I hear, “I so meant to do that.” I am NOT amused. “One more stunt like that and your turn is over for the day.” I reply through smiling clinched teeth. “Okay okay, I got this.” He drives in circles around the parking lot making left and right turns, accelerating and braking. Not so bad this time. My nerves are a bit more easily frazzled on this trip though. We worked on judging distance too. My poor tires…were curbed 8 times on this day

“Okay curb kid, your turn is over,” I announce, “Come on kiddo #2. Your turn!” XXX begins to work on the same things as the first kiddo did. Hard brake after hard brake gravitationally forced my spleen into my backbone so many times, his turn didn’t get to be as long. Kiddo 3 speaks up, “Can I drive?”

…I know I joke about it, but I may need actually need something to calm my nerves after all this! Now I understand why the state says the kids need to hold their permits for 6 months before they can apply for a graduated driver’s license!!

Second attempt – Arrowhead wonders

Over the weekend, my husband and I thought we would go out and look for a tilled up field to look through for arrow heads. Thinking we would try north, we drove around field spotting for a few hours. We found a lot of field, but none had been turned. We discovered that practically no one will is home on a Sunday afternoon anyway to give permission to walk their field.

Lesson learned. It was actually a good trip. We shared time together and checked out the landscape that we didn’t otherwise know.

After a couple of fields, Nick said “I just know we’ll find arrowheads or artifacts here!  Just look at what I found!” ….

After a good laugh, we were on to the next field

The only thing we actually did find was a shaft straightener,

a few tiny pieces of flint, and several farm properties that are for sale.

I’ve always liked just leisurely driving around though, so I loved it!
It was a good day

Below are some we found on other days.

Do’s & Don’ts of Being Crafty

Do prepare all needed materials before beginning any project.
Don’t start a project at midnight to help you sleep. It’ll just keep you up.
Do put your glasses on your face before you begin.
Don’t put them on the top of your head. You’ll simply look for them for hours!
Do prepare a safe & easy to clean place to create.
Don’t use the livingroom or common room! The kids, or grand-babies will trip over, bump into, or step on your project Also, the cat will decide your supplies are his new toys.
Do use the right tool for the job.
Don’t use the right tool at the wrong time. Such as late at night when you can’t sleep.
Do buy quality products (like glues).
Don’t use high quality products (like glues) when sleep deprived. If you do, you may be Googling search terms like: “How to remove hot glue from pet fur”, or “quick pain relief for burns”, or “Can a glue gun start a fire” or ‘Blister relief” or…well you get the picture.

Do preplan or at least think through your project before beginning.
Don’t rush into a project on a “that should or might work” idea.
Do honestly evaluate your personal skill level before beginning.

That’s about it…I’ve gotta run now, shave the cat, bandage some blisters, and figure out how to get the hot glue out of my hair  

Cheers!

Being Crafty

My closet needs an overhaul!!

We just moved back home on the last day of Oct 2012 and we didn’t really build anything in the closet until mid November. Less than a week after Nick hung his shirts in the closet he was on the road to Indiana to be with his family when his step father had a massive stroke.  I bragged on the closet and loved the fact we could hang items in there. I thanked him over and over again. Recently though, we have been storing many things in that small space and it has become unmanageable.

I wanted a closet organizer badly, but was budget conscience and did not mention it. These boxes cost an average of $20.00 each (or more) for the small size 10″ X 8″ if you buy them in a retail store!! I knew I would need several boxes and several sizes, costing over $100.00. Yesterday, after reading through many DIY projects on Pinterest, I decided I could make one. After all, once upon a blue moon, I use to be crafty!

Here is what I came up with – home-made jute twine boxes! I love them!! I knew that I didn’t have any wire I could use, but I did have  a lot of boxes! I thought it over and weighed my options. The wire would be costly for as many boxes as I wanted to make, so this is what I came up with:

Decorative Jute Organization Boxes

If you want to try this, you’ll need:

• Hot Glue – Cost: $4.99 for 20 sticks 4″ ( I only used 5 sticks on this project.)
• Hot Glue gun  (I used the high heat gun) – Cost: $6.99
• Jute twine (buy the largest roll you can find. Trust me, you’ll find a thousand uses for it!) – Cost $18.99
• A box (sturdy reinforced construction) – Cost: FREE! Just use boxes that everyday items are packaged in!

Total project cost per box – Glue $1.25, Twine (roughly) $4.00 = $5.25 per box!!!
Time: 1 hour

1st step- find a suitable box that’s sturdy with reinforced sides & bottom. I chose a Ramen Noodle box measuring 10 1/2″ X 8″ X 4 1/2″ deep.

2nd set – set up



3rd step – begin by gluing the twine to a corner of the box. After it dried 10 seconds later, I laid a thin line of glue along the bottom of the box and pressed the twine into the glue. Basicly, I wrapped the twine around the box one side at a time (gluing it as I went).

For the project to be a success, each row of twine deserves a row of glue – no skimping. Keep wrapping the box until there’s about a half inch lip left at the top.

4th step – choose a fabric. Since I couldn’t sew if I had to, don’t have a sewing machine, nor knowledge of sewing – I used an old t-shirt to upcycle.

5th step – I cut the t-shirt piece so that I had a long skinny piece of fabric and laid it in the box to eye measure.

6th step was to trim the excess off.
7th step – I began gluing the fabric to the 1/2″ lip I left at the top of the box.

I glued both long sides first.

8th step was to access the damage… I mean, progress!

9th step was to fashion the remaining two short sides to the box.

All in all, I’m pleased with my little decorative box for organization.
After I complete more of these, I’ll post a before/after picture of the closet

Here’s the second larger box measuring 16″ X 12″ X 8″ deep.
This one required 12 1/2 glue sticks & a lot more twine. (I’m not crafty enough to determine how many yards.)

Not knowing how to sew is the hardest part

Here are before/after pics of the closet:

Cancer Fundraiser for the Parker/Rogers Family

Scroll down the page to find the new contest for March 12th -March 20th!

This family’s young son was recently diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. I set up a fundraiser through Avon to help the family with their travel and medical expenses. I wish I could do so much more! The kids began tweeting about his illness using hashtag #PrayForTyler or #prayfortyler for a couple of months now. I know this family personally and they have been such a blessing to so many people in the community. They have reached out and supported others and now would be a great time for us to support them.

If you regularly order Avon, would you consider placing your order using this link for at least one order through the end of March?  I promise not to steal you away from your regular representative! Please use code TYLER21 during the checkout process so that the family receives all the profits. I am donating 100% of the profit to them. To see their fundraising progress, click on the “online event” tab.  http://www.youravon.com/cpolovich

Thanks in advance for having a big heart! <3 

NEWS UPDATE:

Every order placed online between today (March 6th, 2013) and Sunday (March 10th) will be entered into a drawing to receive a Pave Circle Necklace and earring Gift Set!!!

Here’s how you can receive more entries after you place an order online using code TYLER21 at checkout ——

• Place your order today and receive one entry when you use Code TYLER21 during the check out process!
• Share this fundraiser to receive another entry after ordering!
• Leave a comment below in the comment section telling me where you shared this cancer fundraiser and receive another entry!!
• I will draw the winner’s name on March 11th and post the winner on all media sites (WordPress, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc.)

What are you waiting for? I have never asked anyone here to donate to anything. This is the first and I can guarantee this family will thank you! If your young son was fighting for his life, you’d hope that someone out there would pay it forward too God has blessed so many of us. If you’ve been looking for a way to Pay it Forward and aren’t sure how to start, this is a great way to start.

If you can’t give, it’s understood and you will never be condemned for it by me in any way.  I love y’all to pieces

Blessing <3

We have a winner!!!!!!!     Joeley Searle you are the WINNER of the Pave circle earrings and necklace! Please contact me so we can arrange delivery of your gift If you didn’t win, please stay tuned: The next contest will be announced later today with another product.

New Contest for order placed from March 12th-March 20th 2013!

Every order placed online between today (March 12th, 2013) and Wednesday (March 20th) will be entered into a drawing to receive a giant bottle of SkinSoSoft Ultra Moisturizing body lotion 25.3 fl. oz.  I have 2 to give away during this period

Here’s how you can receive more entries after you place an order online using code TYLER21 at checkout ——

• Place your order today and receive one entry when you use Code TYLER21 during the check out process!
• Share this fundraiser to receive another entry after ordering!
• Leave a comment below in the comment section telling me where you shared this cancer fundraiser and receive another entry!!
• I will draw the winner’s name on March 21th and post the winner on all media sites (WordPress, Facebook, Twitter, Google+, etc.)

Ready, set, order!

Arrowhead Hunting Adventure

On a lazy Sunday my husband recently said, “Want to go arrowhead hunting?”
“Yes” was my reply. We loaded up 2 of the boys and struck out on a new adventure. In my twisted humorous mind I kept thinking how odd is the phrase “arrowhead hunting”?
How does that play out exactly:  (daydream sequence begins)
We stealthily maneuver through the corn field, crouching low and moving methodically. Senses heightened as we listen to every sound around us and use our eyes as though they were scanning devices. Sudden movements are forbidden. The children must communicate through hand gestures. After we cover some distance…

“Shh! I hear one”, he spurts out in a deep breathy tone while waving his hand to motion down, crouch lower.  Then I see it. The desired prey in its natural habitat. He extends his arm  slowly, quietly, and with precision to capture the great trophy. Just as his fingers are within millimeters of it – one of the kids violently sneeze! …and it is lost forever Darn allergies!

LOL

Ok, seriously now, it was actually a lot of fun. We walked several fields hunting arrowheads. I found flint that had been worked, but not a full arrowhead. We had a blast and we all got a little much-needed exercise. It was a time of meditation of sorts also.  Hypnotically walking with your head down looking at the ground is soothing, clears your mind and can bring some very interesting conversion about. I would recommend wearing the worst pair of shoes in one’s collection though. We came out of there caked in mud. Evidently the best time to look is right after a nice rain.

We found a cool old stone well and I, personally, had a chance to connect with the place where my father grew up around the quarry. It was also nice to see where I came from before I was adopted. I think I should like to go “hunt” these inanimate objects again in the future

Questions

1. When was the last time you tried something new?
Tonight. Nick & I went to Alibaba and had some fabulous eastern foods I ate a German desert that looked like a small turd

2. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
My mother & father

3. What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul. Democritus

4. What gets you excited about life?
The little things.

5. What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
Strength

6. What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?
Hanging out with my kids

7. Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
I ask many questions

8. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?
Hold my tongue

9. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
Strength

10. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
Nothing

11. Do you celebrate the things you do have?
Everyday

Looking deep Within

12. What is the difference between living and existing?

Amazingly, there is a very large & distinct difference between these two. Existing is what one does from day to day, numbly, methodically going through life. Wake up, have coffee, shower, kids to school, commute to work, say hello to co-workers, work, commute home, make or order supper, eat, sleep.
Methodical, routine, flat-line!

Living is when your senses, heart, and soul are active. One will still have a day such as described above, but many moments will be memorable, vivid, & wrapped in emotion.
Waking up becomes a bird’s chirp off in the distance that slowly, gradually comes closer until your senses tell your eyes to open. Your eyes don’t just open & burn, instead they take in a whirlwind of color and motion. Your sense of touch is aware of your positioning and feels your sheet, blanket, or lack of one hugging you.
I’m stopping now, can you imagine how long this post would be if I described an entire day?

15. If not now, then when?

Tomorrow is never a good answer.

16. Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

Yes but it’s private.

17. What does your joy look like today?

My faith, family, home, friends, and love that I choose to surround myself with. Joy is smiling so much & so often – wrinkles appear in the corners of your mouth & you don’t mind. Joy is everyday that my husband & children come home.

Joy is life using all 120 crayon colors everyday not just the standard 8 most people choose!
When’s the last time you colored your world happy?
Blessings

I’ve been republished :)

Here are a couple of great blogs to check out. They have added links to my blog on their sites

Friend to Yourself

Strategic Learning Today

 

Guess what…I Love You

 

I love the way you hold me when I’m sad.

I love the way you smile when I’m mad.

I love the caring in your voice.

And I love the way you smell, of course.

I love the way you laugh at my stupid jokes.

I love it when you roll down your window when you smoke.

 

Well, that’s about it. I’m not much of a poet

Happy Valentine Day! 

Chataloochee Village Farm Recreation

I just wanted to take a few minutes and share with you some pictures from our trip to North Carolina. This was my favorite spot we visited.  The Chataloochee Village Farm is a recreation site. It was so peaceful and historic. It touched my heart as it brought back many fond memories of my childhood I hope you enjoy these pictures as much as I did taking them

We looked for “Bob” everywhere but could not find his name.

North Carolina

Blessings

He said, “Follow Me”

We had a great adventurous weekend!

Nick, the boys and I had a weekend with our new friends Shawn and Kimbra. Shawn being a long lost relative of the great outdoors, he offered to merge some outdoor time into our weekend. Nick booked hotel rooms for us at Harrah’s Cherokee and we were off!

We packed Friday night and encouraged the kids to go to bed early. We got up early and were still late leaving out to meet up with our Road trip tour guides Shawn & Kimbra. Oops!

So…it started! We started off on Interstate 40 going East and our first pull off was in Hartford Tennessee.       He said, “Follow me.”      Hartford had a post office, an outdoor adventure place, and a stream for white water rafting. That’s pretty much it We checked out the tiny little place and then we were back on the interstate again.      He said, “Follow me.”

Another pull off  adventure popped up, so off we went on a back road towards the beautiful country side.

We saw a cool let-in place where Shawn said he lets in his rafts, boats, canoes, or other floating types devices for white water rafting.

(I would love to do that sometime!) Shawn mentions a park up ahead and says, “Follow me.”

We saw beautiful mountain streams, creeks, and found some cool rocks. At one point, we found ourselves at a tiny little zoo type establishment along side the road.

There were llamas, a donkey, and I think I saw a pig – but I’m not sure really    There was also a cute little out building shack that posed an awesome photo opp.

We took in a bit of local history (read signs) and hoped back in the vehicles and were on to the next sight.

As we were leaving Shawn says, “Follow me.”

I think at some point we were given the option of getting back on the interstate or going the back roads. We chose back roads, and let me tell ya, they didn’t get much more “back roads” than this!

Cosby highway went from  normal state highway size (2 car- painted lines) with guard rails and edges of shoulders, all the way down to almost less than 1 car with no painted lines without guard rails mid-mountain height, to gravel with giant pot holes and drop-offs, to plain ole dirt roads hugging the edge of the mountain as it curled all the way to the top.

Signs posted “No Passing”, “One lane road”, “Beware of Drop offs” (2400ft elevation).  We drove about 10 miles on the top of the mountain through twists and turns where the tree roots were the only traction under our tires and if a bird landed on our car, we’d have just tilted and plunged down the mountain.

After about 15 miles, we were all feeling a bit sickly in our stomachs. We did however, pick up an inside joke that the kids will probably discuss the rest of their lives. On our way to the top of the mountain, we encountered a cyclist trying to make it up the 2350 ft elevation of the mountain. He peddled his little heart out and could not grasp the concept that our big truck needed around him and he peddled at a 10th of a mile an hour with a banana sticking out of the back of his pants. We couldn’t pass him and he wasn’t letting us around him. We eventually had to ask the cyclist with the banana to stop and move over so we could pass. If we hadn’t…we would still be on that mountain right now! It wasn’t the biggest mountain we’ve ever driven, but it definitely was extremely fun!

Once we reached a decently elevation, we got back on the Interstate and made our way into Maggie Valley, North Carolina. We’d been here before, but we stopped a few times so our friends could snap some pictures and then we were off to Cherokee as they said, “Follow me!”

We grabbed a bite to eat, checked into our rooms at Harrah’s, then left again to go out toward the Smokey Mountains National Park.

After a bit of exploring, we had dinner and went back to the hotel. We finished the night in the casino .

The boys explored the large hotel, pool, exercise rooms, arcade, etc while we played. Kimbra had a brilliant spa idea, but when we checked with them, they were booked solid

We did much more than this on the trip and had many great memorable moments

I think Shawn and Kimbra were fun to follow. As Shawn said most of the trip: “Follow me.”

Great Gatlinburg Restaurant – The Alamo

As I mentioned in an earlier post, we decided to only shop with local merchants and restaurants. Our first night in Gatlinburg, TN we ate at The Alamo. I would definitely recommend this restaurant! The main parking lot was large enough to park at least 30 cars and the overflow parking area would hold at least 40 more. There is a gently flowing creek that cascades down a brook in between the two parking areas and a cute little foot bridge that crosses over it. The building itself was quaint and built in true Alamo style.

The atmosphere was  romantic with dimly lit, quiet and peaceful tables spaced just the right amount of space apart from each other.

The staff were locals and you could hear their Townsend/Walland accent in their drawl. For a peek at their menu, click here. My husband said the steak was exceptional!! A very large salad comes with every entree.

I order the salmon and was very pleased. We asked the waitress to take our picture and she was more than happy to oblige

We received an unexpected surprise when we were settling our ticket with the waitress. On Wednesdays during their “off-season” (we were there on Jan 9th, 2013) the entrees were buy one get one free!!

If you are planning a trip to Gatlinburg, TN you really must each at The Alamo Steak House.

New Beginnings

January has been a time of new  beginnings, new acceptance, and has begun a new era in our lives. On January 9th, 2013 Nick and I were married in Gatlinburg, TN. We agreed to spend our lives together against everything life may throw at us & stand by each other solidly.

We had a fabulous few days away from the kids & discovered some cool new local places. We agreed on our honeymoon, we would only shop & eat at mom&pop type businesses. So we totally avoided all chains & known labels. This is the first post of many about our honeymoon experiences in Gatlinburg.

We stayed in a small cabin in Gatlinburg, TN owned & operated by Ski Mountain Chalets & Cabin Rentals. It was very cute, on the edge of the town of Gatlinburg going up the mountain, fully furnished, beautiful scenery, clean, private and pleasant atmosphere

The front porch of cabin was small and faced a paved driveway, so no worries of snow or mud.

The front entrance introduces you to the livingroom or common area equipped with a couch, coffee table, TV, and gas fireplace (no need to buy firewood).

The kitchen was completely furnished! All we bought was coffee & drinks for the fridge

The second room was furnished with a king size bed & whirlpool tub & full seperate bathroom.



The back porch was my favorite spot!


The hot tub was awesome

The creek behind the cabin.

Adventure in Snow

Back in December I did not post after the sad circumstances with Nick’s father’s passing. Read more here

But, we did have a few adventures as a family. I feel like enough time had passed that I can reveal the happy time that we all had during the sadness of the month of December.

We took the boys with us to Indiana to attend the funeral. Indiana had a pleasant surprise for the boys – snow! Where we live in Tennessee (all the boys have ever known) it doesn’t snow much and if it should, there are such small amounts of it that it melts away by the next day. Travel may be stopped or slowed for a few hours, but really life simply goes on. When we crossed over the state line into Indiana, the boys looked up from their electronic devices and saw the main highway was covered in a lovely white/muddy substance. Our oldest even commented on the speed we had slowed to and had to receive an explanation about how snow affects driving habits and the dangers we could possibly be facing. Our youngest had one thing on his mind and kept asking if he could play in it when we got to the hotel

They were so overwhelmed by the white stuff everywhere (snow) that it consumed their every thought and desire. I heard them reminding each other that they should remember that we were heading to a funeral, but the excitement in their voices led me to think that this was going to be an adventure for them for sure!

After the funeral we went back to the hotel and gathered our thoughts. Nick told the boys (still wearing shorts from habit of Tennessee climate) to dress warmly because he was going to take them somewhere.

We found ourselves at the Circle Center Mall. We walked up and down dizzying heights from bottom floor to top as we marveled at all the stores. The boys tasted their first ever Orange Julius drinks and were mesmerized by the game room on the top level.

They walked downtown around Monument Circle and looked at the World’s largest Christmas tree.

On the way home, Nick stopped at a small store and purchased some small sleds for the boys. He took us to Brown County Indiana and selected a hill for the boys to learn how to sled on.

The youngest loved it!


Even Nick had some fun

The oldest set out to build himself a snowman

The snow is all they talked about on the long trip back home to Tennessee. They truly had a great experience in their still young teenage lives that many kids have by the time they are 6 or 7 yrs old!

Their adventure was unbelievable wonderful and I know they will never forget it.

December

December came and went. Christmas came early for Josh this year. We exchanged some gifts with him  before his mother drove up from South Carolina to pick him up for the holidays. The boys developed a sense of appreciation for life once more as seen in their acceptance of only a few gifts we could afford them. It was odd not having Josh with us and we all missed him after his departure.

We traveled to Indiana after Christmas and buried Nick’s father, and the boys experienced driving through ice covered roadways and larger amounts of snow then they have ever seen. We mourned the loss of a great man in Nick’s life and contemplated life once more.  The boys developed a deeper respect for Nick and grew closer to him in another way.

Nick taught the boys how to build a snowman and how to sled on this trip though. Their anticipation of the wonders of snow had built so large, he couldn’t help himself but to allow them this treat. We bought sleds and took them to Brown County. They all played for well over an hour before they realized they were wet and cold

January brought new beginnings for our family and I will write about that soon too. Sorry this post is short, but it is straight to the point. I hope you understand why I haven’t written in a bit.

Love to you all

2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 5,000 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 8 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Grieving: Things Not to Say

When someone we know is grieving, we want to comfort them in some way. Many times, we choose to offer support verbally. When doing so, please remember these natural instincts that roll off the tongues of us all listed below – that are actually very damaging. These are things not to say:

*It’ll be okay.  — You do not know the outcome nor can you predict the future, so don’t use this common lie as a comforting measure.

*God needed them more than you. – Seriously? This is not appropriate in any case.

*If there’s anything I can do…you just let me know. – This is so generic, insincere, and can actually lead to anger & ill feelings toward you. Never ever say this unless you are seriously willing to help the mourning person for the rest of your life! If you say this, be prepared to say YES if you’re asked for transportation, monetary assistance, emotional support, letter writing, employment referrals, catalog orders, holiday gatherings, babysitting, random unexpected visits at your home, legal support, etc. If you make this forever promise, you are the lowest form of existence if you say NO when someone mourning calls on you for assistance for the rest of their lives. This is the most common thing that people will say when they attend a funeral service and 98% of the time, they do not mean it in the least.  No matter how much restraint it takes on your part, absolutely do not say this if children are present! I was fortunate enough not to need anyone’s help and I did not call on anyone for several months for anything after losing my husband. But all the random people who made this comment to my children made life difficult. In a child’s mind, they thought that all those random people really would come to their aid for ANYTHING ANYTIME and they developed a sense of abandonment afterwards. If nothing else from this post sticks in your mind, remember this one!  (My children may not be typical. They knew from experience that when I made this comment, I made a commitment that I upheld the rest of that person’s life. They learned from my example and did not understand the concept that other people only said this because they couldn’t think of anything else to say.)

*Another angel got their wings back. – When someone says this it sounds as though they do not have a loving & studied relationship with my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. It just sounds … weird.

*Time heals all wounds. – Even if this is true (which it is), this is not appropriate to say to someone within the first year of mourning or grieving.

*He was a good man – Unless you knew this to be true, do not say this.

*She was a good woman – Unless you knew this to be true, do not say this.

*I am sorry for your loss. – Why? Unless you killed them or made them sick, why are YOU sorry? Although, I will say that this statement is received much better than the previous “If there’s every anything I can do, you let me know”.

*God doesn’t give you more than you can bear. – Although this is true, it is not comforting to hear when mourning.

*Well…at least you’re young. – Yeah, that helps no one… ever How is that comforting to someone who is already upset about living a long life without their loved one they just lost?

*I know how you feel – Avoid this one at all cost unless you too have lost a relation in the exact same manner. No, just don’t say this at all.

*Try not to cry. He/she wouldn’t want you to. – Excuse my lingo, but that is plain ole’ bull poop. Do you hope that no one mourns you when you pass away? Of course not, we all hope that we are loved enough that we are missed when we pass away. So, why would you say that to anyone?

* Okay, enough time has passed to put this behind you and move on. – I’ve heard that said to my children many times and it honestly infuriated me. It caused more hurt than help.

*It’s time to grow up now and stop crying. – This too has been said to my children and it caused far more harm than anything else. They were just kids!! Kids cry no matter their sex and it was OKAY.

*Something great will come from this. – Only say this if you can take a right hook to the jaw without blinking or budging from your spot. You’ve been warned.

*Don’t cry. It’ll upset the kids/parents/siblings/others. – Again, this causes more harm than good as it places unfounded guilt on the survivor for mourning. Everyone mourns in their own way. Words are powerful during grieving, chose your wisely.

So with all of this, what do you say? Keep it simple and sincere. The less you say, the better you are. Here is a list of very appropriate things to comfort someone mourning or grieving:

• I love you (This is the absolute best thing you can ever say. Love heals!)
• Call me if you need to talk. (Be careful though, don’t say this unless you are prepared for the phone calls.)
• I’ll pray for you.
• I’m praying for you and your family.
• God hasn’t left you. (This one can be tricky. If you say this, be ready for mixed emotions unless you know the person’s personal faith.)
• It’s okay to cry.
• It’s okay to scream.
• It’s okay to be angry.
• It’s okay to write down your thoughts.
• He/she knew you loved them.
• Are you okay? (Since this is a question, be prepared for no response or a lengthy period in which you just sit silently and listen without judging them.
• Nothing/Silence (Sometimes the only thing a person needs is physical comfort – such as: a hug, holding a hand, sitting near them, or standing near them.)

Something people often forget to do:

• Follow up – Many people will go on with their lives and forget about the mourning/grieving person after a week or two. If your memory is bad, make a reminder for yourself to check in on them a couple months after the event. This will mean much more than flowers at a funeral, empty comments at a graveside, or cards in the mail immediately following. All you have to do is not forget them in the first year. Simple

Holidays & Family 3yrs after Death

Grief is no easy monster to defeat & one of the biggest illusions it presents is how “family” holds together afterwards. Family unintentionally dissipates as the months & years go by. There are many good intentions and people are quick to declare, “we will not allow anything to separate us” and “we will get together more often”, but reality takes hold & people drift apart.

Death has a way of bringing people together & a way of separating them as well. The reasons why people drift apart are too numerous to mention, but the people who drift remain the same: Brothers, Sisters, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Friends, & especially in-laws.

The illusion of family is presented by those we love & share many years of memories, triumphs, & disappointments with. These are people we grew up with & other times people we allowed into our lives through love & devotion.

Probably some of the hardest lessons learned through this process is that people who were once “family” are no longer as the years go by. Those who once said “I love you” will allow themselves to fad out of your life & resume theirs without thought of the ones they leave out. The daily phone calls that occurred for 15 years will fade to weekly, then monthly, yearly, & finally stop completely. The thought of what constitutes family will be reduced to blood. The family events, get-togethers, & shared holidays will cease. The random encounters in town become fewer as the years accumulate.

There is an awkwardness that begins to grow & soon in-laws feel betrayed by the widow/widower should they allow someone else into their life. Step children decide that a surviving step parent is no longer part of their family once another man/woman enters the widow/widower’s life. Distance becomes the norm instead of the unheard of and the unusual becomes usual.

• During the 1st year after death, the holidays are mournful by all, yet comforting because “family” still gather and hold traditions.
• By the 2nd year after death, holidays are a bit restrained. They seems to be full of pity and compassion for the widow/widower and the children. “Family” approach the holidays with caution.
• By the 3rd year, the “family” turn inward. There is still much pity and compassion, but it is for themselves – not the surviving widow/widower. Since the phone calls have ceased, guilt money begins to arrive in mailboxes instead of invitations to holiday gatherings. “Family” begins to cling to each other more closely so they will be able to discuss the unacceptable changes in the widow/widower’s life. They fear change because they refuse to risk losing the precious memories of the loved one passed. I am hoping above all hope that one day soon, “family” will realize that nothing can replace or remove those memories from their minds.

In the mind of the “family”, it remains appropriate for the them to move on with their lives (as they should), yet it remains inappropriate for the widow/widower to resume life. Afterall, they have been encouraged to do so by many friends and loved ones, therefore it has become acceptable. This self acceptance takes a great deal of effort and can lead to the selfish human nature of self-preservation. People forget however, that self-preservation does not include tearing others down in the process. One of the most important Human impulses in life is self-preservation.

This holiday season, please try not to damage a survivor of any traumatic event by your own inclinations of self-preservation. 

Funny How Things Just Hit You

As I sat drinking my beloved coffee this morning, I rummaged through a year’s worth of pictures so the before/after photographs could be posted of the house.  I am downright excited to publish a post of gratitude and rightfully thank everyone that has blessed our family over the last year.

As I was reviewing the first 1,000 photos or so, I was flat-out excited! Creating a folder to move the photos into and ensuring they were in the right order was not bothersome at this point. After an hour had passed, I had successfully completed my first pot of coffee.  I was amazed that I took so many pictures & had parsed through several thousand at this point. Going into my third hour, I was mentally exhausted. I was becoming frustrated at myself for taking so many pictures of everything under the sun. I questioned myself even, “why did I snap that?” “Did I think that was funny, cool, or that I’d never see it again?” “What is that?” I caught myself being upset with myself for clogging up my computer with pictures of random stuff when it hit me.

It is defined by: Wow, I’ve had a great year! I’m not including the boys or their feelings in this either. They may see the last year in a different way. Since they have become strange creatures others call teenagers, I can no longer speak for their feelings really. Would you allow me, gentle reader, to share this with you?

Please do not think me boasting or giving gratitude to anyone other than God! I have honestly had a great year of healing without even noticing I was. I mean, I’ve noticed sort of, but I took each day and placed it in its own little boxed adventure and hadn’t lined all the boxes up together to see the whole picture.

Over the last year: I went from thinking I was moving on with my life and realizing I hadn’t moved an inch

- to mourning the loss of my husband again

- to recovering from a nasty concussion (PCS)

- to beginning the heart wrenching work on the house

- to moving away from home

- to leaving state several times and seeing new places

- to meeting new people

- to realizing I had fallen in love again

- to watching the boys grow closer to each other and healing (PTSD & grief)

- to taking our first ever family vacation

- to learning a new trade (kind of)

- to definitely learning new skills

- to learning to open up and share myself with someone again

- to renewing my faith

- to really learning forgiveness (PTSD)

- to letting go of the anger (PTSD & grief)

- to helping a few friends along the way

- to meeting some cool people in other countries (you know who you are…Paul)

- to being a Mom again instead of working too many hours each week

- to bringing another child into our family

- to finally agreeing to “let it go” and just be.

And I documented all of this through my pictures. There are thousands of magical pictures with time stamps and GPS locations to remind me just how far I have come and how unquestionably blessed I have been and still am.

I am happy that I was side tracked while trying to locate all the photos of the house for you. I apologize that you must continue to wait too, cause I’m only good for one post per day per blog.

May God bless you

We moved back home!!

It’s been a while since I have written anything and for that, I apologize.  I do have some fabulous news though…we moved back home on October 31st!

The boys were a tad perturbed that they didn’t get to keep their Halloween plans made with friends, but we needed every available body to help lift, carry, and unpack.

We moved practically everything on that day/night. Afterwards, I went back to the rental property we were residing in and cleaned it up. That didn’t take long though – just a few hours. We left it looking far better (and a lot more clean) than when we moved into it

If you have followed the blog for a while, maybe you remember the house flooding? (It’s okay if you forgot, you can catch up if you read here.)

Maybe you remember the house sliding off its foundation almost a year later? (No problem if you forgot. You can catch up if you read here or here for details.)

I stopped writing about the house in February 2012 (I think) because I didn’t want the house to become the entire focus of this blog. And I decided that I would write once we were moved back into the house. I didn’t know that it would be the last day in October that would happen though.

I am going to do a reveal post soon and show some before and after photos so I can publicly thank everyone that helped us during this time in our lives. The project started the last week in December 2011 and was completed Oct 31, 2012. I am filled with joy to be back home again and I hope your hearts are touched with the story I reveal soon

 

Ending a day with Pooh – wait, what?

A few days ago we had a family talk with the kids about being a stronger & united family unit instead of pointing fingers at each other & declaring “I didn’t do it” or “It was him, not me”. It went well. Each of us came up with something to do to take responsibility for our family’s success.

Fast forward to the next day…

One of the boys took his part of the family talk serious. He decided he would do more things around the house to help out. We were all getting ready to go to supper & didn’t see him inside. When I looked outside, he was raking leaves in the front yard. I smiled & was proud of him.

I walked over to where he was & told him I was proud of him. Nick came outside & saw him next. He also reinforced this positive behavior

We all went to supper & ate. In the truck on the way back home, I heard one of the boys talking about something stinky on the bottom of their shoes.

Fast forward again…
We are home, changed into our night clothes, and my son (previously praised for his good deed of leaf raking) is in the kitchen under low light scrubbing his shoes.

From the other side of the house, I hear Nick yell, “Chrissy!!”
It was pooh. [Pooh everywhere.] My son was scrubbing pooh off the tread of his shoes in the kitchen sink. The kitchen had tiny flecks of pooh and pooh juice all over it. There was pooh on the wall, the window blinds, the sink, the dish drainer, the “clean” dishes, counter tops – you get the picture?

My son had stepped in a massive pile of pooh while raking the leaves and he thought he was doing another good deed by cleaning the pooh off his shoes…in the kitchen sink!

We spent the next half hour with bleach in the kitchen cleaning the result of his shoe cleaning, which resulted from the good deed yard raking, LOL!

I love my boys, I love my boys, I love my boys!!!

The Adventure of Identity

Last night I stopped at a local drug store to purchase some cold and flu medicine. I had picked up a cold or flu back a few days ago and couldn’t seem to shake it on my own. I really hate being sick and a head cold or the flu is the worst! I walk around like a zombie, head weighing 70 pounds or more, and dragging my feet everywhere I go.  Plus, I’m just not “with it” when my head is full of unmentionable grossities. I forget where I put things more often than usual & find myself searching for common items for hours. (Like the can opener which somehow ends up inside the refrigerator & the dish rag which somehow ends up in the bathroom.)
For this round of cold/flu, I misplaced something very valuable: my drivers license! So, back to my original story.
Last night I went to a local drug store to buy some cold/flu medicine. I was specifically looking for theraflu, but the drugstore was sold out of that brand. Lucky for me, they had 2 boxes left of their store brand version though. My youngest son and I looked around the store for some ginger tea & came up empty handed, so we proceeded to the checkout counter. The lovely lady behind the register said, “I need to see some ID.” Puzzled I replied, “Huh? For theraflu??” She turned her computer screen around so that it was facing me and pointed to it as she read: is your customer 40? Then she said, “It’s asking me if you are 40 yrs old and I don’t think you are. I need to see your ID.” Frustrated, I left the store to go look in my car for my drivers license. My son and I looked high and low for my license: in my purse, in the various compartments inside the car, in the floor boards, under the seats, everywhere – but came up empty handed! Almost in tears from the pressure in my head & the frustration of the crazy notion that one must look 40 to buy theraflu, I drove back home. My son was very sweet and concerned for me and my health. Once we arrived back home, he helped me search the house. Unfortunately, by the end of the day we came up empty handed.

This morning, I wake up with a mission. Get the kids to school then get a duplicate made of my license at the DMV. I discover a DMV location very close to the house, so I went there first. A sign on the door read Closed. Another motorist in the parking lot tells me that the location is used for DUI reinstatement only. Since I’ve never had a DUI, I left to find another location.
At the second location, which was only about 5 miles away, the parking lot was void and there was a sign on the door that read: This location closed today October 12th for training. So, I leave.
I remembered that I may need a copy of my birth certificate to prove identity for the DMV to issue me a duplicate license. I went to the main health department. There, on the door to the certificates office, was a sign that read: Closed for lunch from 11:30 to 12:30. It was 11:32!!
I just need some cold medicine!
I called my brother to see if he could help me. Wrong number. I found another number for him and called it. Disconnected. I remembered speaking to my cousin about 3 weeks – a month ago & she mentioned she had spoke to him. She did not have a good number for him either, but like an angel she offered to help me!
We went to a local Mart and browsed through the cold medicine aisle. (By the way, she looks way younger than I do and always has.) We discovered that none of our local stores carry theraflu anymore, so we ended up buying Alka Seltzer cold and flu. When we got to the register, she didn’t even get carded!! :-/
She and I were able to spend a little time together and then I took her and her daughters home.
By this time, it’s 3:00. I figured I have 1 more shot at making it to the DMV today. I drove East to another location. The parking lot was void of cars and there was a huge sign on the door that read: This and all other satellite offices closed today, October 12th for training.

ugh…

The search at home for my drivers license continues!!

Changes after Death

This particular article is difficult to write, but part of healing is sharing.

Death is not easy on survivors, the friends of the deceased, or the survivors friends. We are nearing the 3 year mark after losing my husband, the kids’ father and embarking on the PTSD  journey.  It seems with each passing year, each family member affected by his death is still affected in a different way. It goes without saying that each person heals differently after experiencing a traumatic death in their lives. Some still carry very tender hearts and others just ignore that the date of the event on the calendar exists. Rarely does anyone speak of the actual event any longer. I have heard it said that time heals all wounds, but this is not the case for everyone. If someone brings him up, they mention him, not the event. This too is part of the healing process. I guess we are making progress after all

Tragedy can bring people closer together and it can pull people far apart. After a period of time passes, many people tend to forget that there is no correct or incorrect way to grieve. There is no correct or incorrect length of time for someone to move on with life either. Moving on with life or “living” doesn’t mean that you have forgotten what you had, who that person was, or what they meant to you. Because this can be forgotten, some people in a family can turn against the ones that they feel like are not grieving appropriately in their minds. They begin to pass judgement. Along with judgment, comes bitterness, anger, and a complete re-visitation of the grieving process. The person who allows anger to fester inside of them experiences many sets backs from their healing.

Death is not prejudice. It takes who it pleases. Death is not questionable. It is final. Death is not arguable, it wins. It is uncaring, selfish, ugly, and can change people forever. Death can bring out the worst or the best in those around you while one grieves or while one heals. Death changes the image of people that we have in our minds. Death can use a person’s emotions again them. Death changes perception.

Children process death differently in their mind than a spouse, parent, or friend. After losing a parent, children want to see the surviving parent alone. They are unwilling to accept anyone else in the surviving parents life. Another woman will never be good enough. Another man will be unacceptable. Surviving children can be cruel because their emotions over take them. They will feel as though the surviving parent has fallen out of love with the deceased parent at some point, even if they remain alone for the rest of their lives. They will assume that the surviving parent is trying to replace the deceased if they choose to re-marry. They can harbor resentment, anger, and in some cases guilt because they like the new “parent” brought into their lives by the surviving parent.

A death in the family can actually be quite dangerous to one’s emotional state & the unity of that family. Siblings will turn against Siblings. Mother against father or vice versa.  If everyone involved is not understanding of the other members of the family and their feelings, the family can be destroyed.

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We have a winner!

Here is a copy of the Facebook post I just published after I drew the winner. Sorry it took me an extra day to draw, I was off adventuring

I drew the name of the winner of the gift card: Daisy Pulliam, you are the winner!! Please message me so I can get your gift card to you!! 

I had not planned on doing more than one winner, but I think it’s only fair to give Kiersten Willis a consolation prize for all of her efforts. Kiersten had a whopping 14 entries into the contest that I could reconcile and many more (if everyone did not tell me she sent them). Kiersten, message me so I can get a gift card to you also!

The link to the facebook page is:  https://www.facebook.com/ChrissyAdventures if you ever want to check out the posts there.

A stroll in early Fall

What do you see?

I see rebirth, a never ending promise of renewal.

God provides for all.

Thank you Lord for the path you put me on!

I love Autumn :)

Image

Give me some feedback :)

Castle in Kentucky!

Nick has been travelling a lot this year with work. Today, I had the opportunity to make a day trip with him to Lawrenceburg, KY. The little over 3 hour drive there was beautiful. Leaves are changing colors and the drive holds many other spectacular sights along the way.  After his business was completed, we doubled back to Frankfort & then looped through one edge of Lexington. In a small town named Versailles, I saw one of the most groovy sights of all.

Kentucky has a castle!!

???? Puzzled, I looked up the history online. Here’s what I found:
“Construction on the castle was started by Rex Martin and his wife Caroline Bogaert Martin in 1969, after they had returned from a trip to Europe and were inspired by the architecture and many famous buildings they had seen. The finished project was to have seven bedrooms, fifteen bathrooms, a fountain in the driveway, and a tennis court. In 1975, the Martins divorced and left the castle unfinished. Over the years, it became a popular oddity and roadside photo-op for tourists.”

” On May 10, 2004, after months of renovations, tragedy struck when newly installed woodwork and wiring caught fire in the main building. Tom Post, the castle’s new owner, who was at his home in Miami at the time, had already spent months renovating it but vowed to rebuild. Approximately twice the castle’s original cost went towards the reconstruction project”
“Reconstruction was completed in fall 2008. New additions includes twelve luxury suites, a library, game room, music room, dining hall, ball room, swimming pool, formal garden and tennis court. It is used as a tourist inn, fund raisers, weddings, special events, and corporate functions. It has sixteen bedrooms, four of which are in the outside turrets”
For more info click here

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I’m having a contest!

Who doesn’t like free stuff??  I love to win things So, I’ve decided to have a contest.

I set up a facebook page for the blog a little while ago and it has about 30 likes. I’d love for it to reach 100. Could we do it? Is it possible? YES

Every friend that you refer to the facebook page https://www.facebook.com/ChrissyAdventures will enter for a chance to win a gift card. And, of Course, you will be entered to have a chance to win for every referral

I need a little help from you though to help me determine what type of card and the denomination.

Each person that “likes” the Chrissy Adventures facebook page needs to leave me a note letting me know who referred them so I can keep up with and choose a winner.

Contest starts TODAY and ends Oct 5th, 2012.

Depending on the success of this contest, I may run another one in the future

I love you blog community <3

Happy Update

Happy is the feeling of the day.  :-) I do not give all the credit to the new medication, but to the God and his healing grace. Without him allowing my body to accept this new treatment plan, I still would not be able to walk. My body is responding well to the new medication and I have been able to not only walk, but stretch, and workout a little now. Previously, I would be so happy to have a good mobility day that I would over do it, then suffer for several days afterwards. I have accepted that I have limits and now I am working out and completing daily tasks as I can, being conscious not to over do it. As I have been easing into a new daily routine, I have been able to accomplish a little more each day.

Four days ago, I began a walking routine. Two days ago, I downloaded a new app on my phone to help me slowly increase my endurance. I want to be able to run The new app has a virtual trainer that talks to me as I walk, tracks me via GPS, determines how far I walked, and is easing me into jogging part of the time. So far, I am up to walk/jogging 1.53 miles in 11 mins. I want to increases my endurance so that I can be a mom (clean house and do things everyone else does) while also getting a workout in during the day to build muscles that will protect my bones! I am hoping to begin my hiking schedule again this fall and see even more of the Smokey Mountains than I did last year

I am happy as a lark that I can move!! I even played in a park with my son yesterday.

New Treatment Plan

The doctor visit yesterday went well. I truly love my family doctor. He is always willing to spend as much time as each patient needs, never rushing anyone out the door, and intently listening to each thing they have to say. Anyway, he and I discussed the pain, inflammation, and continued joint twisting. Previously, he was treating me with Meloxicam, OsteoBioflex, & localized Cortisone shots. I, of course, was also using other forms of relief such as Cheyenne pepper, Turmeric, hot showers, and heat belts. Now, it seems, it is time to treat me globally he said. My inflammation medication has been changed to Diclofenac Sodium & he gave me a sample of Lyrica. I’m going to attempt the anti inflammatory twice a day for a week or 2 and see if I have great improvement. If not, I’ll move on to the ever-so expensive Lyrica. I’ve taken 3 doses of the new anti inflammatory medication so far. With only 3 doses I can already see marked improvement. This morning, my hands were swollen but not near as much. I could even make a fist! I was able to get out of bed on my own! My knees bend with less pain & I am lifting my arms way above my shoulders!

I decided to look online about this new-to-me anti inflammatory. Sources I found online indicate this medication is used to treat cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, & fibromyalgia patients for pain. That made perfect sense, because pain results from the mass inflammation that occurs in these diseases. So, I’m hopeful I just know there’s an adventure waiting on me out there & soon, I’ll get to live it again! I’m not sure if anyone has ever kicked rheumatoid arthritis’ butt before, but I’m not giving up until I have!!!

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